The Alpha Myth: Why “Taking Charge” Is Making You Miserable|10.26.25| Jesus Over Everything pt.4
Most of us grew up with a belief that powerful people were the ones who had the most influence, or the most money, or the largest companies that could employ the most people.
Meanwhile, the rest of us who worked regular jobs, or who weren’t the biggest farm around, or who didn’t possess the skills of speaking and influence…we didn’t have as much power.
But that doesn’t stop us from trying to use the power we have!
Because we’re told that being a real man means that we take action and don’t let anyone take advantage of us. We’re told that being a strong woman is to speak up for yourself and to run the show, either overtly or from behind the scenes.
We’re told that strength means having the loudest voice in the room.
We’re told that success means being the one in charge: the boss, the highest income, the one who makes the call.
We’re told that if you don’t fight for control, someone else will take it from you.
We’re told that in order to get ahead, you might need to push others down…or at least make sure no one gets ahead of you.
We’re told that if you don’t win, you don’t matter.
And you know exactly what this feels like, because it shows up in all of our lives.
It shows up in the way we drive: taking a little joy in passing slower cars or being the first one off the line when the light turns green.
It shows up in our marriages, when our arguments aren’t about understanding, but about being right.
It shows up in our parenting: when we try to control the way our kids act, so we demand instant obedience, because that feels like respect.
It shows up in church, when we serve in order to be noticed, rather than serving quietly for God’s glory.
Meanwhile, our world continues to celebrate the “alpha” personalities that occupy the top 10% of influence and power, the ones who are always “crushing it” and “dominating” and “hustling harder”.
150 years ago, John D Rockefeller was the epitome of this kind of person. Born into a large family, worked as an assistant bookkeeper at the age of 16, and then started investing in business partnerships, until he founded his oil company and became one of the richest and most successful businessmen in our history.
Rockefeller rose to immense power by controlling resources, dominating his competition, and dictating the terms of his deals. But listen to this quote from him near the end of his life: “All the fortune I made has not served to compensate me for the anxiety of that period.”
Even extreme control didn’t bring peace. But here we are 150 years later, and we’re still saying things like “Don’t show weakness,” “do what it takes to win.”
But if that’s true, why are so many of us burned out? Why are so many men angry and addicted and alone?
Maybe because what we’ve called power isn’t power at all. And what we’ll see today is that Jesus shows us a different way.
[Scripture Ref] p152
Open your Bibles with me to Philippians ch2. And as you find that, I want to remind you that Jesus wasn’t just a good teacher or a moral guide. He was fully God. God become flesh.
Our passage is going to show us that even though Jesus had all the power in the universe, he didn’t grasp power…he gave it away. He chose humility, obedience, and service.
While the world encourages us to “control more, win more, rise higher, GET more.” …Jesus says, “Trust me. Serve more. Give more.” We’re going to see that, according to Jesus, true power isn’t about taking control…it’s about trusting God enough to serve.
[5 Steps to Study the Bible]
And this whole series is helping us practice studying the Bible for ourselves, and everyone can learn how to do this. Because the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in every person who has put their faith in Him and is able to teach us and remind us of truth from God.
So once we pick a translation that we can understand, and we pick a passage to read, then we seek to understand the context, read slowly and ask questions, and then pray that God will help us apply it to our life.
If you missed the beginning of the series, I’ll just remind you of the context of what we’re reading: Philippians is a LETTER that was written BY the apostle Paul, and he’s writing TO the followers of Jesus who live in a town called Philippi.
Paul is currently in prison, and they have been concerned about him and sent a care package. So he’s writing back to them to reassure them that even though he’s in prison, he’s overflowing with joy because of their faith, and he wants to keep encouraging them to live a life that is transformed by Jesus.
Because the Philippians were Roman citizens, but Paul reminds them that because of their faith in Jesus, they are ACTUALLY citizens of the kingdom of heaven. And he’s making sure that they don’t fall into the trap of their culture that is obsessed with status, titles, and control. (sounds a lot like our current culture)
So, with that context, let’s read slowly and ask God to help us apply Philippians 2:1-15…
[Philippians 2:1-15]
[Philippians 2:1-2]
Paul has just finished telling this group of Jesus-followers that he’s still joyful, even though he’s in prison, and he’s willing to endure whatever because it means he can share Jesus with more people.
And so he addresses them now, “If YOU have also remained convinced that the Jesus-way truly is the best way of life… if you’ve seen that it is GOOD…”
“...then DO THIS.” And I like how the CSB translation lists it:
Just do this: continue thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, and focusing on the ONE GOAL of Jesus.
[Philippians 2:3]
Then he continues in v3, that’s what I want you to do, but DON’T DO this:
Don’t have selfish ambition and don’t have empty conceit.
Well, as we’re reading, we ask questions, and I was reading and I wondered what Paul was getting at with these, so I did a word study.
Don’t have selfish ambition. The word that Paul uses is actually used outside the Bible in ancient greek writing by Aristotle, and he used it to describe the “self-seeking pursuit of political office by unfair means.” (repeat)
Now, I know what some of you are thinking: is there any other kind of politician?
Paul says, “don’t do that. Don’t be doing what the world does: cut corners in order to get ahead just to help yourself.” And don’t have empty conceit. Don’t have “vain or exaggerated self-evaluation.”
Have you ever talked to a man about one of his hobbies? Hunters will say “Oh yeah, it was AT LEAST a ten-point buck.” Fishers will show you “how big.”
Guys will relive their high school athletic glory days, “I probably hit the game winning shot like 2-3 times.”
Why do we do that? Why do we think that we NEED to exaggerate or make ourselves sound just a LITTLE more impressive than we are?
Is it because deep down, we’re actually afraid that we’re not enough on our own? Is it because we’ve been trained our whole lives to compare ourselves with others, so that when we start to think that we DON’T “measure up”, we start to fill in the gaps with a bit of embellishment?
Is it because we think that if we stop proving ourselves, no one will notice us anymore?
Yeah, I don’t like the sound of that either. I don’t like how true it feels to me. Maybe that’s why Paul is trying to help us understand THAT’S NOT the way we were created to live!
Paul says, “don’t do that! Don’t live your life propping up some IMAGE.” Instead, humbly regard others as better than you.
[Philippians 2:4-5]
Look to the interests of others, and then he brings it back to our model in v5: “I want you to be thinking the same WAY, having the same LOVE, sharing the same FEELINGS, focusing on the same GOAL, and…having the same MIND as Christ”
And then we get to the Sacrificial Savior Creed that we’ve been proclaiming all month. THIS is the model that Christ laid down for us:
[Philippians 2:6-7]
Be like Jesus, who even though he was in the same FORM as God, he didn’t grasp equality with God. He didn’t exploit or seize the fact that he was fully God. Instead, he EMPTIED himself. He divested himself of his prestige, his privilege.
Even though he was in the same form as God, he took the FORM of a slave, being born as a human.
[Philippians 2:8]
And he humbled himself, he LOWERED himself, and became obedient, not only to the shape and outward appearance of a human, but to the type of a death that humans experience.
He became obedient, he became subject to death, even death on a cross, a humiliating death.
But why is Paul focusing on this? Why is this such a big deal? Why is Jesus being held up as the model to follow?
Because Jesus demonstrates that he is not subject to humanity’s endless grasping for power. From the very beginning of Scripture, we see that humans have always been obsessed with grasping for power.
Adam, the first man, reached for the fruit, believing that he could TAKE God’s place, believing that choosing what was good and what was evil for himself would give him control.
Adam’s son, Cain, reached for justice on his own terms. When he couldn’t control God’s favor, he chose to control his brother’s life…and killed him and hid it.
Lamech is talked about in Genesis ch4 as someone who bragged about being even more vengeful than Cain, and his “leadership” over his many wives was marked with domineering, violence, and pride.
It’s a downward spiral that we still see today, because we still think that grasping for control is how we get safety. We still think that manipulation equals power.
But when we grasp, when we seize, we end up with clenched fists.
Then Jesus arrives, the BETTER Adam. The One who ACTUALLY had power because he was fully God. He existed in a state of glory and equality with God. But unlike Adam, Jesus chose NOT to exploit his equal status for his self-advantage.
Instead, he emptied himself of status. He trusted the Father, and became human, he became a servant to all…And in that surrender, He revealed the paradox of the Kingdom of God:
When you give up control, you gain peace.
When you humble yourself, God lifts you up.
When you serve, you actually change the world.
Because true power, according to Jesus, isn’t about taking control… it’s about trusting God enough to serve others.
Therefore God exalted him, he raised him to the loftiest height, and gave him the name above every name. God reversed his shameful death through resurrection.
[Philippians 2:10-11]
So that at the name of Jesus, the name that's been exalted, the name that's been lifted above all other names, the name of Jesus, the person who didn't exploit the equality of God, but he emptied himself and took on the form of a slave.
He humbled himself, became obedient to death. God made sure that the name of that same Jesus would cause every knee to bend in heaven and on earth and under the earth.
Every means every. This doesn't just mean the Christians. This means all creation is going to acknowledge that the name of Jesus is above every other name.
And every tongue should confess… they would confess, they would accept, they would promise, they would consent, they would profess, they would admit, they would acknowledge… that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.
And this section is actually connected to the prophecy in Isaiah chapter 45:23. That every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Yahweh is Lord.
Paul is now connecting that “every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.” And that doesn't take away from God, but it brings GLORY to God the Father.
Jesus isn't supplanting the previous bending of knees and confessing of tongues that Yahweh is Lord. Jesus is FULFILLING it and giving glory to God the Father by being raised up.
Paul's point with this section is that the one true God consists of God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. And so this section shows the conviction of who Jesus is, that he is God, but it also puts him as an example to follow for the Philippian Christians.
[True Power]
Paul wants us to know that true power isn’t taking control — it’s trusting God enough to serve. Because when we grasp control, we live small, anxious, fearful lives.
But when we trust God and serve others, we step into the mission of the God who rules galaxies yet stoops low enough to wash feet, and that causes us to shine like stars in the dark night.
And I wonder, what would it look like if the men and women of New Life became known following Jesus in this way? What kind of witness would that be to our whole area if we were known as people who didn’t grasp power, but who gave it away in service of the One who has wandered away from God and is being called back to him?
[blank]
Imagine our marriages where husbands and wives stop fighting for control, and start competing to out-SERVE each other.
Imagine how it will affect the families in our community when dads lead like Jesus: not by force or with fear, not by dominance…but leading by example?
Imagine moms modeling quiet strength, finding their worth not in their performance or by keeping up with whatever unrealistic expectations are put on moms, but finding their worth in quietly serving God and receiving his pleasure.
Imagine how your workplace will be changed when the believers who work there lead differently… where success isn’t about climbing over others, but lifting others up.
Imagine how the Sauk Valley will be changed in the next generation when our kids grow up seeing servant-hearted leadership modeled every day, so that they believe that kindness and humility are the real marks of strength.
Imagine what kind of incredible things God is going to do in our community through our church if our reputation isn’t about how big our building is or how energetic our programs are, but if our reputation is about people who love like Jesus and lead like Jesus.
That’s what it looks like when we let Jesus reign over our ideals of power. Because true power isn’t about control, it’s about trusting God enough to serve.
So where do we start? I don’t think it starts with a grand gesture or a public statement. I think that we start following Jesus’ model of power through a simple act of prayer and obedience.
[Pray and act]
This week, pray for God to give you one person to serve. Pray for God to bring one person to mind, or to give you an opportunity to serve someone that you run into during the week.
Who has God already placed in your life that you’ve been trying to control… instead of serve?
Pray for God to give you one person to serve, then serve them! Because every small act of humility becomes a star in the night sky, pointing someone toward Jesus.
Paul is saying that when you live in this way, you look different from the world around you. And it makes you shine like stars.
Sometimes, after a long day, I love to just stand outside after putting the kids to bed. We live out in the country, so there’s very little light around us, and I just look up at the big black night sky.
And the darkness is so much more vast than the pinpricks of light from the stars. But the stars are bright enough to bring light even in the deepest night. The stars shine. They bring awe and wonder. They cause hearts to be lifted up and look at the heavens.
There’s no way you can stare up at the stars, and you're just gazing upward, and you're filled with wonder, and the world is quiet, and the world is incredible, and there's no doubt in your mind that there must be a Creator God who loved us so much to create all of this just to amaze your senses with that beautiful image.
And in the same way, when we live in this way, when we continue to live out our faith in salvation and experience the ongoing transformation of the Spirit in our lives, that causes our lives to bring awe and wonder to others, raising hearts up to heaven, where one day every knee will bend and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. To the glory of God the Father.
So this week, pray for one person to serve, and then act. Pray: “God, who do you want me to lay down my control for? Who do you want me to serve in a small way this week?”
Listen, and then do it. It could be a family member, a coworker, a neighbor, or a stranger. It doesn’t have to be huge, just one small step of obedience. That small act is not small. It's a light in the darkness that calls people towards God.
Starting with prayer means that we start by turning to God. It means that we're already humbling ourselves before God. It means that we are already entering into the posture of Jesus. We're already following the footsteps of Jesus.
Jesus, who is the most powerful man to have ever walked the earth, because he was fully God.
Jesus, who knew how to wield his power, and he knew how to use his power.
Jesus, who did not abuse his power, turned to God the Father in prayer. And didn’t act in self-service, but gave up everything for you.
And if you’ve never trusted him, or if you’ve never fully submitted to him… the most powerful thing you can do is surrender to Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
We’re not saved by copying Jesus’ humility… we’re saved because of it. His obedience all the way to death opened the way for us to receive life by grace.
So God raised him up and exalted him even more highly and gave him the name that is above every other name, so that at the name given to Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Isn’t that good news?