The Mistake Most Christians Make When They Try to Love Others |01.18.26| Each One Reach One pt.3

Have you ever thought about the PRESENCE that you bring into a room when you enter it? Do you ever feel the way that others react to your presence?

I have a friend who recently became a police officer, and he was commenting on how surprised he was that people act differently around him when he’s in uniform.

He was interacting with some folks out in the community, and invited one of the guys to step away from the rest and talk to him over on the sidewalk… and the guy followed him without any question or protest.

“He just… listened to me.”

My friend is a quiet, kind man. And when he’s on duty, he’s got the same voice, the same personality, but the UNIFORM carries a different presence and authority.

It’s not like he’s changed drastically as a person from before he joined the force. But the authority of the police department enters any space he enters, because of the badge and the uniform.

Now, I want you to hold on to that idea of presence and authority, because Jesus is going to show us something surprising in our Bible passage today about how God works to bring his presence into situations.

Because I also want you to be thinking about how this idea of PRESENCE matters when we talk about reaching our One.

We’ve been talking about how each of us has someone in our lives that God is inviting us to reach out to with his love. Maybe there’s more than one person that God has put on your heart.

But have you ever thought about the kind of presence and authority YOU bring into the situation when you draw near them?

Because WE aren’t clothed in a uniform when we interact with the people in our lives. But we ARE clothed in Christ. We ARE covered by his righteousness. We ARE filled with the Holy Spirit who lives inside us.

And because we are a living temple to God, his presence goes where we go. When God’s people move, God’s presence moves.

And his heart is often inviting us to move toward the One in our lives who is far from God but close to us. That’s why we have started this year with our rallying cry for the whole year: Each One Reach One.

And this isn’t just a 4-week conversation. This is going to be the heartbeat of everything we do for the whole year of 2026. Because EORO isn’t just a slogan, it’s marching orders from our king who calls us into his mission.

When he gave his great Co-Mission for all of his followers to “go and make disciples, inviting them into God’s family and helping them learn how to follow him each and every day, one step at a time…”

…it wasn’t just a mission given to a vague group of people. It was a PERSONAL mission given to each and every one of US. And we know that mission becomes powerful when it becomes personal. That’s why we’re talking about “who is YOUR One?”

Because the mission of Jesus becomes personal when we give it a name. When we think about the people in our life that need to realize that Jesus has actually been pursuing them and calling out to them the whole time.

These people that we care about and love… the Ones that God has put on our heart… Jesus has already been pursuing them because he loves them even more than we do!

And when we realize that Jesus loves our One, that he’s already been reaching out to our One… the question isn’t about IF we should be involved, but HOW should we be involved?!

Which brings us to today’s main question: how does Jesus actually move toward people who are far from God? Because we want to join in with his work.

So the past few weeks, we’ve seen how God’s love always involves ACTION. God SEEKS the lost. And seeking means stepping TOWARD, because love never stays at a “safe distance.”

And last week, we talked about how heaven REJOICES over the One who turns back to God and gets reunited with his family. So, today, we’re asking the question: what does that seeking actually look like?

[scripture ref]

And in today’s passage, Jesus is going to show us that love doesn’t shout instructions from far away. Love draws near. And when Jesus draws near, it doesn’t always sit well with religious people.

So open your Bibles with me to Matthew ch9 (p???). And as you’re finding it, we’re going to see the part of the story when Jesus has been calling his first disciples to leave behind their old way of life and turn to him and follow him.

Today will be when Matthew himself takes that step. But who is Matthew, exactly? Our story will refer to him as a tax collector, but that didn’t mean he worked for the IRS.

In the first century, Rome was the occupying force that ruled over Israel. They stationed soldiers, used the threat of violence and death to keep the people in line, and they taxed the country heavily to pay for the desires of Caesar.

And part of that system was a network of tax collectors: Jews who worked for the Roman government by processing the taxes and payments of their fellow Jewish people. And, as you can imagine, that didn’t make them very popular. They were working for the enemy!

Tax collectors were the most “outside” that an outsider could get, because people viewed them as having turned their backs on their own people. Instead of working for God to try and get out from under Rome’s oppression, they were working for Rome and keeping them in power.

And that’s why it’s so surprising that Jesus, someone who said he was from God and was reestablishing God’s kingdom… why would he spend any time or attention on tax collectors? Let’s read…

[Matthew 9:9-13]

[Matthew 9:9]

Now, last week, we already talked about this phrase “tax collectors and sinners.” And we looked at the original Greek word for sinners, to see that it meant “outsider.”

You could be an outsider because of failure to conform to certain moral and religious standards. The word could also be used to describe people who have certain occupations, like herding animals or tanning animal hides, that put those people often in the “unclean” or “impure” category. And sometimes, the word was just used to describe non-Israelites, because they were definitely OUTSIDERS.

And it’s common in the Bible to see the phrase “tax collectors and sinners” together, because most people just always grouped tax collectors with sinners in their minds. BUT… tax collectors were extra hated, and so they were worth singling out.

So tax collectors were singled OUT of the OUTSIDERS, and hated all on their own.

Which is why it was so surprising that Jesus called a tax collector to follow him. I mean, the first set of followers of Jesus were bad enough: fishermen who had low status and were uneducated.

But tax collectors weren’t just avoided because they smelled like fish. They were morally and religiously suspect. Many people would ask, “Do Jewish tax collectors even believe in God anymore if they are working for Rome?”

But Jesus saw him and pursued him. Jesus went up to him and connected with him. Because Jesus cares about the One, but he doesn’t stop there. Because Jesus knows that connecting with someone means connecting with their circle.

[Matthew 9:10-11]

Which is why we find Jesus sharing a meal with a whole group of tax collectors later that evening. Because connecting with Matthew was an open door to his community of the only people who would talk to him any more: other outsiders.

But the reason Jesus is getting lots of raised eyebrows about this is because sharing a meal with them was a sign of IDENTIFYING with them. Because he’s willing to enter their space, he’s giving dignity to them and breaking the social norms of the Jewish religious leaders.

The Pharisees are in essence saying, “Why is Jesus eating with THOSE people?!”

Because not only is Jesus hanging out with them and treating them like regular human beings, he’s doing it in THEIR house. This isn’t neutral territory. He has entered the unclean house of an unclean sinner, and he’s no longer ritualistically clean or pure any more.

The religious leaders didn’t have a frame of reference for that. They expected God’s Anointed One to show up like an angry judge and “clear house”, trampling on the unclean outsiders and rallying the purebloods who “properly behave.”

[Matthew 9:12]

But Jesus is showing a different view of God’s love. So he answers with a proverb-style saying, “The sick need a doctor, not the healthy.”

He’s using physical illness as a metaphor for spiritual need, and he’s showing that sick people need PROXIMITY. Physical healing requires touch, presence, being willing to enter the mess.

When there were physically sick people who needed a doctor, Jesus entered the mess and healed them. And when there are spiritually sick people, who are burdened by sin and who need mercy, forgiveness, restoration… Jesus entered their mess and healed them, too.

Because Jesus knew you can’t help people and keep your hands clean at the same time. You can’t love someone from a distance. They need proximity. They need your PRESENCE to be willing to draw near, even if it means entering some of their mess.

[Matthew 9:13]

And then Jesus quotes an OT prophet in Hosea 6:6, “I desire steadfast love, not sacrifice.” This is a prophetic writing that challenges religious people of that day. It was calling out the RELIANCE on having the “correct ritual” rather than actually acting out what our faith points us toward.

Now, our verse in Matthew quotes the Greek translation of Hosea, saying God desires “mercy, not sacrifice.” And then you go back to Hosea, you see the Hebrew word they use is usually translated as “steadfast love, lovingkindness, or faithfulness.”

Because, in Hosea’s day, God was pointing out that certain religious people… they were doing all the “right sacrifices”, all the right traditions… they were preserving the “shell” of their religious practices, but they were losing the heart of what loving God is supposed to change in us.

Because we saw it two weeks ago, the greatest command in all of the Bible according to Jesus is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength,” …and that is supposed to change us from the inside out with how we show love to others, as we overflow from the love we have received from God.

So when Jesus quotes this part of Hosea and says, “go and learn this…”, he’s saying, “learn from the mistakes of Hosea’s generation, who did all the right prayers and rituals, but neglected the PEOPLE who were around them. Don’t repeat those same mistakes by caring so much about making sure you are ritualistically ‘clean’ that you actually keep your heart and your mercy held back from people who need it!”

Just like a doctor heads TOWARDS the hurting… God’s love is pointing us towards those who need it. You can’t help someone AND keep your hands clean.

[You can’t love]

You can’t love someone from a distance (x2). And I actually wanted to be very intentional with how I worded this truth from the text today. Because Jesus isn’t demonstrating that we should love “people” in general. And it’s not an ambiguous call to be loving to “others.”

We’re talking about your One. The person that is close to you, but far from God, and who God keeps putting on your heart to show love to.

Well, you can’t love your One from a distance. In our passage today, Jesus didn’t make a general statement in the general vicinity of Matthew’s tax collection booth — you know, talking loud enough so Matthew could overhear — about God’s love being for everyone.

He went right up to him, connected with him individually, and then shared a meal with him and his coworkers. Jesus leaned in close, entered their space, and brought the presence of the kingdom of God with him as he did.

But why is this hard for us? Why is it hard for us to demonstrate God’s love up-close-and-personal with our Ones?

Honestly, I think all of us have the same reasons for why it’s hard, and I feel it, too. It’s hard because we have some fear about how it’s going to go. Because we don’t want to make it awkward. Because we don’t want to mess it up, or say the wrong thing.

And that feeling of fear doesn’t sound like the devil is telling us to “not to obey God.” It just sounds more like, “just wait. Maybe a different day. Maybe after you’ve learned a bit more or read a bit more of the Bible.”

Fear convinces us that distance and waiting are wisdom. So we stay at a distance.

Another reason it’s hard to lean in with love is because we’re afraid we’ll be rejected. And no one wants to be rejected! So we don’t step closer, because we don’t want to be pushed away. We stay at a distance to protect ourselves.

But Jesus risked rejection every time he drew near. Getting close always involves a certain level of vulnerability. But Jesus knew that you can’t LOVE someone from a distance.

But it’s hard for us because we’re not sure what to say. This is where we freeze, right? Because we assume that sharing the love of God requires that we have the “correct” answers to every question we might get asked. We assume that we need to be experts.

But I can’t find a spot in the Bible where Jesus is quizzing his followers on the top ten questions to make sure they have memorized the correct answer. In fact, it looks like Jesus often sent his followers into his mission way before they ever “felt prepared.”

Because preparation wasn’t the requirement. Obedience was. Followers of Jesus just need to OBEY the prompting he puts on their heart, take that ONE simple next step, and trust that God will help with the step after that. And the step after that.

Because you can’t love someone by staying distant… — …

Jesus shows us that love steps IN. Love steps closer.

And if that’s true, then obedience to Jesus’ call looks like being willing to move TOWARD our Ones.

[Take one step]

That’s why I want to encourage each one of us to take one step into the space of our One this week. How can you take a step closer to them this week? How can you enter their space, their world, their interests, their conversations?

Take one step into the space of your One to bring God’s love this week.

Now, let me tell you what this is NOT. This is NOT trying to FIX your One. Because you are not a savior. You are not a solution to their problems. You are not responsible for their transformation.

Praying for our One and asking God to give us opportunities to show them love is not treating them like a project to fix. And it’s also not about treating them like a homework assignment.

“Well, my pastor keeps telling me to pray for my One, and so I sent them a text with a Bible verse, so I’m good until next week, right?”

Because remember that at one time, YOU were someone’s One. You were the lost One that Jesus has been pursuing your whole life, too. And maybe it was a friend who was praying for you and reaching out to you. Maybe it was a grandparent. Maybe it was your spouse who kept praying for you and modelling their faith.

And the last thing you would want is to think that the only reason your church friend was nice to you was because they were checking a box by reaching out to you!

Taking a step into the space of your One this week isn’t about trying to fix them, or checking a box… and it’s not about forcing some outcome. We’re not trying to manage or control them and the way they respond. We’re just trying to be obedient to God, because he LOVES them, and he’s inviting us to be a part of his mission of loving them and calling them back into his family.

So we might see a big response in them. We might never see anything. But the outcomes belong to God. Obedience is what belongs to us.

And that’s why I always give the call to take action “this week.” You might have noticed that every sermon has something to try “this week.” Here’s why that’s important: because when we delay, we’re just giving fuel to the fear that is already trying to keep us from obeying God.

Waiting when we know that God is inviting us to move is never neutral. It shapes us. What we delay often becomes harder to obey tomorrow.

But when we take that simple next step… when we obey what God is prompting in us, even when we don’t know the whole path, but we take that first step… obedience RETRAINS our heart. It reminds us who is actually in charge.

It reminds us that we follow a king who rules over everything, and he has a plan, and he wants to work in us and through us. Obedience interrupts the fear, and allows us to partner with the growth and transformation that God wants to continue in our hearts.

So that’s why I want us each to take one step in the space of our One this week. Because showing up counts. Leaning in shows love.

And when we enter into their space, into their interests, into their world… When we connect with them over coffee, or connect with them over conversation this week… we’re bringing the Presence and the Authority of the kingdom of God with us. Because Jesus lives in us. And our obedience is one more statement that “he is king, and he is in charge right HERE (in my heart).”

Now, all of a sudden, “your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” stops being a prayer we say and starts becoming a LIFE we live. His kingdom comes into the room when we step into the room out of obedience to him to share his love. His will is done through our lives when we obey what he’s prompting us to do.

Following Jesus’ mission to reach our One with the love of God is part of the way we BECOME the answer to the prayer he taught us to pray.

Because God’s plan has always been to invade earth with his presence and love. The reign of Jesus is meant to spread through our lives and our community here. The kingdom of heaven is coming down to earth each and every time we receive God’s love and say YES to his invitation to follow him with one more step today.

[END]

That’s always been the heart of the gospel, because God didn’t love us from a distance. He didn’t just shout instructions from heaven. He drew near. He clothed himself in humanity and came in the person of Jesus Christ.

He stepped into our mess. He reached out and picked up our sin. He carried our death and put it away forever.

You can’t love someone from a distance, and God proved that with his own life, so that we can turn away from our old ways of sin and death, and enter into his new life through faith in Jesus Christ.

Isn’t that good news?