The Serving Trap Christians Keep Falling Into|06.14.26|Blessed to BLESS pt.5

One of the most beautiful things you can do for someone is to serve them without any expectation of return. Because it’s a sure sign of love.

We see this when a parent cares for a child. Parents endure sleepless moments, selfless sacrifice even at the end of a long day, and helping over and over without keeping score. And that applies when the child is a baby as well as when the child is grown!

Serving others sacrificially is one of the most powerful ways to share God’s love.

We see this when a caretaker is doing some menial task for someone who can’t care for themselves in that way any more. There are some of you who care for your spouse in ways that demonstrate God’s love so clearly, even when you think it’s “just” doing the laundry, or washing their hair, or taking on paying the bills so they don’t have to worry about that any more.

We see that when nurses and medical professionals take the time to get an extra pillow, or lower the lights, or help call a family member, when the patient is going through a difficult season.

You see that when someone helps a neighbor by returning their trash can, or keeping the mower going and mowing the neighbor’s yard out of kindness and love.

Serving someone sacrificially, with no expectation of return, is one of the most powerful ways to share God’s love.

[BLESS rhythms]

And that’s great news for us, because we’ve been learning about these five everyday ways to bless our neighbors and spread God’s love to the people he puts in our path.

Because we know we are ALL called to join Jesus in his work that he laid out for us when he told us to “go and make disciples of all nations.” He wasn’t talking to some group of “super Christians.” He was talking to everyday, regular Jesus-followers. He was talking to each and every one of us!

When he gave the mission to “go and make disciples,” that is YOUR mission. That is MY mission. When he told us to be his “witnesses,” that means that YOU and I are each called to be his witnesses, to share with others what we’ve seen and heard about Jesus. When he told us to share the good news, he meant it! Each and every one of us are called to do that in our everyday lives!

And we’re trying to live that out here at New Life this year through our rallying cry: Each One Reach One. Each one of us wants to reach the “One” in our life who is someone who is close to us, but who feels far from God. Because we know God wants to reach them with his love… through us!

And so this series has been giving us those five everyday ways to actually do that! But there’s still a problem, isn’t there? Someone in this room has been praying for their One. They’ve been practicing listening to them in order to get to know them better. They’ve even shared a meal or a coffee, or put out the invite for that… but your One still hasn’t responded in the way you hoped.

Maybe they said “no” to the church invite. Maybe they seem completely uninterested. And so you’re starting to wonder: “am I doing something wrong? Is this even working? How can I share God’s love with them if they won’t come to church with me?”

That’s why we need the step this week, which is the first “S” in the BLESS rhythms: Serve selflessly and sacrificially with no expectation of return.

Because each step has helped us see how God’s love overflows out of us towards the people he’s trying to reach through us. We’ve prayed so that God helps us NOTICE the people. We’ve listened so that we can care for them. We’ve created space to draw near to them over a meal. And now we’re learning to SERVE.

And Jesus shows us exactly what this looks like… on the worst night of his life.

[Scripture Ref]

So open your Bibles with me to John ch13 (p82). This is the night of Passover, and Jesus is gathered with his disciples for what THEY think is a celebration meal, but HE knows it’s his LAST MEAL before he gets arrested, put on trial, and crucified.

He knows what’s coming. He knows Judas is about to betray him. He knows Peter is about to deny him. He knows the disciples still don’t fully understand what he came to do or how he plans on fulfilling his mission.

And as they gather for the meal, Jesus starts the whole thing off by doing something surprising and gross. Because they’ve all gathered for the meal, but there’s no servant to wash feet.

In that culture, washing feet was the lowest-status job in the room. No one with any dignity or self-worth would volunteer for that job. And I bet the awkward silence dragged on while everyone did mental math for who was the youngest or the newest to the group who would have to demean themselves.

And then Jesus gets up. So let’s RISE together for the reading of God’s Word…

[John 13:1-17]

[John 13:3-5]

Jesus, knowing full-well who he was, made the choice to pick up the towel. Pastor Dave Ferguson says that Jesus traded his crown for an apron. And I want you to understand just how big of a deal this is.

Because Jesus is God in the flesh, the Word through whom all things were created and have their being, the King of kings and Lord of lords. There is no one higher, no one with more power or authority.

Even if you were in the room and didn’t fully understand his Divine status, you would have still known him as a highly respected teacher and rabbi.

And in that day, washing feet was a routine practice before a shared meal. But it was a job for the lower-ranking person in the house. And I doubt I have to tell you this: but it was a gross job!

Because in the first century, feet were dirty! There were no nail clippers, no socks, and closed-toed shoes weren’t really the fashion. So when you’re walking around in sandals in an agrarian culture, that means that you might step in some “stuff” from time to time!

And for a meal like this, we don’t want feet like that around all the food. But there’s no designated servant there. Who’s pulling the short straw?

Then the temperature in the room rises so sharply when Jesus stands up, takes his outer garment off, ties an apron around his waist, and starts to wash the feet of his followers.

Keep in mind that the culture of that time was an honor-and-shame culture. That means that protecting your reputation and dignity was critically important. Your honor was like your credit score: the higher your honor score, the more privilege and prestige you enjoyed. If you had a high honor score, other people were expected to serve you. Doing something undignified, like washing feet, would be a great way to TANK your honor score. No one would risk that!

[John 13:6-8]

That’s why Peter responded the way he did: “You will NEVER wash my feet!” Peter tries to stop him! And he’s not just being weirded out or admitting that he has ticklish feet… Peter is being loyal to his master. He’s trying to protect Jesus’ dignity.

A teacher doesn’t wash feet. A rabbi doesn’t do that servant’s job. Peter’s instinct is to protect the honor of the one he loves.

I know it’s hard to understand something that is very removed from our culture, but imagine you’re having people over for dinner, and someone who is so beyond you in wealth, status, and fame comes over.

Like, imagine the most famous person you can think of. Maybe Michael Jordan shows up at your house. I mean, come on, he’s the Greatest of All Time. And you’re anxious about having him in your home, but at the same time, you’re also really honored, right?

Then imagine after the meal, he gets up, goes to your bathroom, and starts scrubbing your toilet? Wouldn’t that make you uncomfortable?

[John 13:8-9]

That maybe gives you an idea of how Peter felt, but notice how Jesus responds:

“You don’t understand yet. But later you will.” Jesus doesn’t stop to explain the theology. He doesn’t turn the foot-washing into a sermon. He just keeps serving.

But he does raise the stakes for Peter: “Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.”

It seems that letting Jesus serve you isn’t about weakness or humility or honor… letting him serve you is how you receive him. It’s how you receive adoption into his family. (This is belonging and connection language.) And Jesus is making it clear that Peter can’t give what he hasn’t first received.

But Peter hadn’t realized what Jesus was doing. In just a few hours after this dinner, Jesus would choose to allow himself to be arrested, beaten, stripped, and humiliated. He would set aside his crown again… this time not for an apron, but for a cross.

He would take the full weight of our sins and wash us once and for all with his grace so that we could be clean forever and restored to right relationship with God.

And he didn’t just do that for people who already believed in him or who had decided to follow him. He did it for all. Even there in the room, Jesus washed ALL of his disciples’ feet. Including Judas.

Jesus knew what Judas was about to do. He served anyway. No expectation of return. No condition on the grace.

But it wasn’t just a kind gesture. What Jesus did there in the Upper Room on the night before his crucifixion was meant to catalyze a movement. Watch how he makes it plain:

[John 13:14-15]

V12 After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are right, for that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. Very truly, I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.”

Jesus’ message is simple: It’s now our turn to serve the way Jesus served. It’s your turn to set aside your crown for an apron.

We live in a world that believes the higher you rise and the more power and wealth you accumulate, the more leverage you have to get others to serve YOU. But Jesus takes that idea and says, “Here is what it really looks like to bless the world: you serve!”

And it’s IN THE SERVING that not only do we bless others, we experience God’s blessing as well. Not in a transaction sort of way. Not like a cause and effect. Just in the act of doing it is where the joy of blessing is discovered.

[Serving others]

And it’s because of Jesus’ example, that most of modern society has been influenced by that idea: serving others is one of the most powerful ways to share God’s love.

Ask anyone, and they’ll agree with the idea that serving someone else is a good thing. But the world’s way of serving is slightly different than Jesus’ way.

And you know this, because most of us serve with a hidden scorecard, don’t we? We choose to help a neighbor one time, and then we keep track of whether they say ‘thank you.’

You reach out to your One, and try to do something kind for them, but you keep a tally as to whether that moved them closer to attending church or not.

You serve someone, and you wait. And if nothing seems to change, you secretly wonder if the serving was ‘worth it.’ … Does that ring true?

All of that actually reveals a deeper problem: we’ve been treating service as a TOOL. We’ve been treating it as a means to an end. Serving just becomes a strategy to get the outcome we want.

It’s like when my brother and I were young and would go to my mom and ask her, “Can I help you with anything today? Do you need a drink or a snack?” and she would say, “What do you want?”

Because OF COURSE we know that’s not serving. That’s a transaction with an apron on. Because serving with strings attached isn’t serving at all.

But Jesus washed Judas’ feet, even when he knew exactly what Judas was about to do. Jesus served anyway, not because he secretly hoped it would change the outcome of Judas’ heart, but because that’s what love does.

Serving others sacrificially (with no expectation of return) is one of the most powerful ways to share God's love. And if you’re a follower of Jesus, Jesus has given us a command to love others as he has loved us.

If you’re not a follower of Jesus, then you get a ‘pass.’ You get to choose if you want to follow Jesus’ example or not. But if you’re a Christian, it’s pretty clear what we’re called to do.

And we do it, trusting that GOD is at work through it, instead of focusing on the outcome WE’RE trying to get done by serving others. As a witness of Jesus’ good news, the question isn’t whether our serving is ‘working’. The question is whether we’re serving like someone who has already been served.

[Jesus served first]

Because Jesus didn’t wait for you to respond or demonstrate faith before he served you. Jesus served us first. Jesus always served first.

He picked up the towel BEFORE Peter understood. BEFORE Judas repented. BEFORE any of his followers were ready.

And here we are 2000 years later, and the same is true for us! BEFORE you believed, BEFORE you cleaned up, BEFORE you had anything to offer him… Jesus stepped into our humanity and offered his life in place of ours so that he could purchase us back from the debt of sin and death that we were due.

And he didn’t serve you with a hidden scorecard. He served you on a cross, with no expectation of return, no guarantee you’d respond, no condition on the grace.

It’s because Jesus has served us first… it’s because he poured his love and his life out for us FIRST… that’s the only reason we can serve others the way he modelled for us.

Not because we’re disciplined enough, or patient enough, or loving enough.

Because he already did it for us, and it’s out of the OVERFLOW of his love pouring into our lives, that we are able to pour into others.

Jesus served us first… before we understood, before we responded, before we deserved it. And THAT’S why we’re able to serve others sacrificially in order to share God’s love with them.

[blank]

But what happens when they say ‘no’ to us and to our invitations of faith? Maybe you’re thinking of someone right now on your BLESS list who has ghosted you. Or what if they already go somewhere else to church? Or what if they don’t go anywhere to church, but they’ve made it pretty clear they aren’t interested?

According to Jesus, you serve them anyway.

Not because it’s going to change their mind. Not because it’s a clever strategy to “kill them with kindness” so that they eventually turn their whole life around.

We serve them anyway because Jesus served people who said no to him, and he called that “love.”

And so, when God gives you a nudge to serve someone on your BLESS list who has already declined your invitation to church… you get to still OBEY that nudge, because it’s exactly what Jesus modelled. That’s what grace looks like with a towel around its waist.

[One practical need]

So I'd like to encourage you this week, to identify one practical need in the life of someone on your BLESS list and meet it.

Because you’ve already been praying for them. You’ve been practicing listening to them. You may have even shared a meal with them recently. So, by now, you probably know something about what they’re carrying… a hard season at work, a home repair they can’t afford, a week that’s been too much.

Identify one practical need and meet it this week. Without an expectation or agenda. No follow-up pitch. No hidden scorecard.

And if you’re not sure how to serve the person that God just put on your heart right now, start over with the BLESS rhythms: begin praying for them. Find a way to connect with them and just listen. Offer to share a meal or a coffee so that you can pray more and listen more. And once you find a simple, practical need they have in their life, serve them by meeting that need.

Because I’m CONVINCED that when we begin with prayer, listen, and share meals with people… more opportunities to serve than we can count will begin to present themselves. Eventually, someone might even ask you what makes you different or why you serve the way you do? That’s when we get a chance to put into action the fifth and final BLESS practice we’ll be talking about next week.

But for now, just find one concrete, immediate need that you can meet for someone God puts on your heart. Maybe you’ll have to plan for it, or maybe you’ll get the opportunity to serve as you go about your daily life.

In any case, you might need to put down something in order to bless someone else through serving them. Jesus put down his crown to pick up the apron. What is your ‘crown’?

Is it your time? Your pride? Your convenience or comfort?

What would it look like for you to put down that thing that usually becomes the excuse to not serve, and put on an apron instead? What would it look like to put on an apron in your neighborhood and begin with prayer, asking God to show you a simple way to serve someone who lives near you?

What would it look like to put down your crown and put on an apron at home? With your spouse? With the people you work with?

[END]

Because when we begin with prayer, we’re trusting that God already has in mind the mission he is at work with. And he’s already finding the ways to invite us to join him in his work.

We don’t serve people or share God’s love to earn anything with God. We’re not doing it to “close a deal” and make sure they immediately start following Jesus. In fact, we’re not responsible for the outcome of what God calls us to do!

Jesus is already at work, and the Spirit is already working in their hearts, calling them to repentance and obedience. Our responsibility is to simply OBEY the nudge God gives us and trust him with the outcome.

He’s already pursuing them with his love. We’re just picking up a towel. Because Jesus picked one up for us first.

Isn’t that good news?